On Simplicity.

Simplicity must be a self-defining word. It may not necessitate belabouring.
A simple life, as the name recommends, is a beautiful life. It is one of tranquillity. It consists of and includes adequate but manageable aspects precluding strain and wearing out that excessive burdens cause us to inflict upon ourselves. In this sense, it is therefore sustainable.
Consider a poor man, regarded as such in light of societal greed and instalment of superfluity as necessity, whose only source of agony is discontent, but who has his happiness within reach, even pestering him to lay firm hold of. This man is blessed, in what seems to society as affliction, indeed to have his basic needs not confused with luxury. In this manner, he remains safely within nature’s requirement and provision. Our constitution requires enough for sustenance and this is easily satisfied without undue pressure. The rest of our time should be spent on renewal (rest if you will) and reflection.
Reflect also on the flipside; the fame, status and as an invariable accompaniment of wealth, worry which excess of material endowments involve. Physical belongings of the sort, though highly regarded by society as a hallmark of joy, are the quintessential distraction from the important matters of life. It serves as the single most devastating illusion that deceives man with unerring consistency; accordingly it demands of one a continual effort and pains to remember the curse that such represents. Indeed, wealth which readily feeds our greed without ever satisfying it, keeps us on a wicked cycle of meaningless pursuit and neglect of virtuous needs.
This classical immemorial error keeps many a man from acquiring true peace and leads them soon to their grave before the realization of who they are, what their purpose is and how to achieve that purpose. The process of trivialization which places wealth and its pursuit at the head of every human thought and activity robbing men of their time and wits and effectively robotizing them is responsible for ceaseless regret at the time of near death. It employs strategies of compensation in the form of apparent financial security. Such neutering, just as with castration of an alpha male, compromises the integrity of men rendering them largely incapable of accomplishing their true purpose.
It is indeed amazing what little attention people pay to these important aspects of life. Such irony has at its heart an unsuspected agonizing ache which gnaws away at us and manifests in waves of dissatisfaction that send us plunging further after more meaningless objects which fail to fullfil but beguile us transiently for a duration surprisingly short to sufficiently erase our memory of our suffering. In this manner, men pay less attention to introspection and renewal and accord utmost regard giving earnest consideration to over glorified trivialities.
It must be a dreadfully sore trial to waste one’s life away in such carelessness. It calls for conscientious application of discernment at every step of life to reverse this painful state. It is awful that such sagacity graces only as an after-wit and in old age. The adage ‘boys make mistakes for men to correct’ has always borne special meaning to me. It contains a timeless reminder; that fault abounds and the same is only acceptable when followed hot upon the heels by corrective measures. The two are related in the motion of a swinging pendulum, alternating between mistake and its consequent correction. To responsibly conclude my fascination with the saying, it occurs to me that the said manhood is no precise time cast in stone. Some men live out their old age much like boys within and merely aged in external form. This is an abomination, an insult to nature. Emerge from boyhood when it is time, by the enduring but not unduly prolonged course of informal education in life. Be steadfast and progressive in your learning and growth. If you should choose to abide by childishness to the extents that are inappropriate and shameful, then cease to consider yourself worthy of the breath you draw. Recall Einstein’s comprehensively practical maxim, “Life is worthy of the man who daily earns it anew”
If you at any point of this piece, protested then allow that a highly likelihood of having been the ‘target audience’ exists and reflect upon its meaning. Deny the impulse to be irresponsible with your life and arrogant where it concerns your legacy. It is a destructive impulse that most men unwittingly indulge. We are not born with exceptional gifts and/or faults in to a world without tremendous treachery equivalent to overwhelming inherent beauty (Milure,1/1/2020). My petition is to be responsible enough not to fall victim to an unrewarding scheme of societally spun, self-perpetuated of lies. By all means, work towards a decent living but do not, if you have sound thought within you, think of wealth as a gift, worse still as an important (I dare not say most) thing in life.
Reader, beware! This is a new year. I regard it insincere to consider it a change warranting complete upheaval of cumulative past memories and experiences. It is truly honest to consider such a transition as an opportunity to carry on growth, not start living afresh. The latter allows you to keep your faults in mind, conquered and yet to be subdued, as a constant proof of the need to master yourself in the journey of life.
In this matter, let God be your eternal guide for all of your days.

THE EMBODIMENT OF PARADOXES

 

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The individuals in the images above are family. I pray earnestly and continually for their blessings and success in the profession and life as a whole. Bana Ba MUSOM ’15/21 bed uru gi chunyno, ober!

Medicine is a profession of subtle but inescapable paradoxes. It is popularly regarded as a scientific discipline which encompasses complex concepts demanding of the doctor a deep wellspring of knowledge allied with a memory that vividly recalls those same concepts and a disciplined mind to apply it all in a fairly rigid and consistent manner. This sound, rational and organized thought process, though absolutely essential, is ineffectual without an accompanying element of an astute artist employing in his trade, virtues of compassion, patience, guardedness and prudence, a flexibility which allows the  painting of a meaningful picture of the patient and his ailment. This realm where art and science meet and balance, is a place of divine dwelling and fittingly so, because here too, a sombre song and delicate dance often graces the ambience when life and death have to even out. Indeed, there is no alternative source of that kind of purity, where emotions are genuine and nature, through vulnerability, exerts its unforgiving reminder that we, though a courageous and determined lot of creation who refuse to admit of defeat without a fair fight, are but a flicker.

The process of information acquisition is long-winded and painstaking, replete with profound hurdles and challenges. This not only necessitates but also facilitates, as a matter of self-sustenance, a perennial exudation of unfailing confidence, strength of character, mental agility, sound understanding and an unyielding resilience. Careful observation of ones seniors who also double up as mentors and lecturers would reveal a knack for communicating in a manner that conveys the gravity of the task students are being groomed for while never failing, in the same breath, to instill hope, sparing in them a bit of what’s equally critical; delight with their career choice.

The delicate conception, application and utility of time provides another area of sharp but well rounded, even wholesome, contrast. To the apprehensive patient with a terminal diagnosis, for instance, a decade may seem at once, considering his painful affliction, prolonged and, recalling his numerous unaccomplished dreams, harrowingly brief. This amorphous quality of time, in a hospital setting, is not unique to patients. A medical student will be subjected, and occasionally succumb, to the temptation of feeling incompetent when his peers and those much younger graduate ahead of him. But having been long before introduced to modesty, resilience and even mindedness, will strike a balance and opt for the more acceptable alternative of resignation to the hand one is dealt. He will find the time allocated for OSCE and other practical evaluations to be limiting while experiencing difficulty enduring the 5 minutes allotted for a Viva Voce. A surgeon burdened by the enormous responsibility of mining as extensively as possible, a malignant tumour wrapped around and between large vessels often unwittingly has his internal clock readjusted to regard the passage of hours as though they were minutes. Clinicians also need to discern and balance moments that require split second decision making with situations where well thought out decisions that take advantage of the passage of time are more desirable.

The profession affords one an opportunity to experience a uniquely well balanced state. The provider is often the recipient of well-earned praises, heartfelt gratitude and enriching sentiments of individual acknowledgement from performing well. However, this does not go unchecked, for shortly after, often even simultaneously, devastating outcomes and disapproval humbles the practitioner. This undulation about his proper place keeps him from neither getting overly confident nor descending in to depressive states. It maintains him on a continual path of self-improvement, enduring appreciation for life and ongoing prudence and humility; all appropriate for his roles.

In the clinical environment, physicians must demonstrate adherence to the time-honoured principles and protocols of patient-doctor dynamics directed towards establishing a diagnosis and corresponding management. Here too, doctors pay due respect to an expectation to generate differential (alternative) diagnoses while practicing care to avoid confusion and ultimately arrive at a parsimonious conclusion. The process of formulating a diagnosis is akin to a treasure hunt, one which demands industrious digging and skilful utility of communicative aids for a pleasing discovery. Yet in this age of malignancies and other potentially life-altering chronic diseases, establishing an illness is invariably a displeasing outcome. During these precious but delicate moments of interaction with clients and/or their loved ones, although the doctor or student ought to demonstrate a wealth of knowledge and understanding of the subject matter, he/she is cautioned to remember their own limitations and candidly admit them. Such an embrace of one’s imperfections not only sets the stage for a sincere discourse by bringing down the invisible wall that easily precludes adequate communication between the two parties, but also provides for a platform for and subsequently promotes continuous improvement and learning.

At its core, the training convincingly passes for a course specifically designed to accomplish ruin, wringing all the wits from students’ heads, methodically squeezing the passion from their hearts and draining hope from their souls. In truth, it is a process meticulously prepared and tailored to instill courage, furnish with knowledge as well as wisdom and develop emotional intelligence, all building up to cumulative gains enthroning sobriety, rationality and flexibility in the practice of medicine. An uninterrupted reign of the latter yields wholesomely pleasing and reproducible outcomes featuring a happy carer and a contented, as far as welfare guarantees, populace.

To borrow from Epictetus; ‘for our powers can never inspire in us implicit faith in ourselves except when many difficulties have confronted us on this side and that, and have occasionally even come to close quarters with us.’ The training and practice of medicine would introduce one to personal shortcomings and general common pitfalls which birth vigilance and engender preparedness for the same along with the discovery of hitherto unidentified strengths.

CAUTION: This piece remains incomplete, move on.

All that which happens (or does not happen) does for a reason. This cause is not always immediately apparent yet we are easily misled to erroneously assign faults to external entities. This does an excellent job of excusing us from the blame but also engenders in it an incapacitating accompaniment; that of helplessness.

We find that we are free from blame and forget that the liberation extends to the attendant obligation to institute corrective measures. You see, the human brain, perhaps as a protective mechanism against being overwhelmed, is remarkable for its capacity to focus on specific manageable bits of an otherwise enormous entity. In this zoom-in mechanism, it promotes narrow mindedness when confronted with situations that demand broad and wholesome approaches. The owner therefore loses out on the benefit of a well tempered assessment. To emerge out of this protective cocoon, self introspection and frequent reflection is essential.

Why does this come up now? Haven’t we heard the story of global warming and a failing universe since childhood? Is it not true that the ugliness in an otherwise beautiful universe rears its head and causes agony more often than we like? Does it then mean that our continued complacence and inactivity, focusing wholly on blame game has played a significant role in the continued progression of these adversities? If so, what will it take for us to act on the realization? There exists, in all corners and at all times, unmistakable reminders of a dying universe.

(Work in progress)

A sumptuous entanglement.

IMG_20190915_191850_567As a young man, he had admittedly engaged in an appreciable number of romantic relationships and even he, though of modest tendencies, reluctantly agreed with the many that would say they were more than his fair share.

However, this latest indulgement was of a different mettle, not just from its privileged position in the memory timeline or from the mere fact that it was a different encounter. He swiftly discerned that such a simple explanation was not sufficient to underscore the special tone that prevailed in this circumstance.

Perhaps it was from the preceding days highlighted by intense ‘innocuous’ activities underlined largely, certainly not entirely, by pure intentions? He pondered over it for a second before realising the disharmony; such a glorious experience had, as an absolute prerequisite, careful planning and meticulous execution for which there hadn’t been time for. Further, purity of intentions don’t commonly yield such exhilarating thrills. He thought, somewhat regrettably, that this experience had a ‘wrong thing done the right way’ vibe about it.

Highly likely, the class of this particular woman featured to influence the outcome. Away from her obvious striking beauty, she had a gentleness of character and ease about her that sharply contrasted her strong views and difficult tendencies. This lady had a smoothness of edges that was beyond conscious effort. He smiled with the observation that such excellent adjustment and balance required utmost wit and conscious efforts would fall short. This came naturally to her. She had an element of balancing that deeply intrigued him and which some, for lack of a critical understanding (which he boasted occurred naturally to him) had mistaken for double standards. He felt a bit of pride on account of that peculiar understanding that he possessed but immediately realized that her excellent cooking abilities had played a role in it, the others had failed to benefit from this bias.

He searched his mind, remembering his lessons, for any contradiction, for everything clearly suggested that he was to rise up to the challenge. Self introspection had long revealed to him an immutable tendency to complicate matters but because he had also rationalized the inclination as providing a perfect counterbalancing act and safeguard against foolhardy surety, he thought he had good reason to mistrust this which presented as doubtless.

He methodically listed possible deterrents but soon realised the emerging pattern that each of them embedded, an unsolvable paradox; he had to, and was going to be with her for the same reasons he understood he should decline the invitation.

He was familiar with undeniable intensity in similar settings but he also recalled, with frustration, that, trapped and beset by charms of the moment, it had been incredibly difficult to prudently restrict even modest intensity from spiralling into sublime experiences.

He did all these in a matter of seconds or so, after all, an indecipherable expression-full face, as he commonly held his in contemplation, made for a dull bedroom encounter. Such a delay would poison the mood, quickly killing the vibe that even a subsequent successful salvage would be tainted by an undesirable mark contributing to less rewarding activities. If he were to do it, he had a duty to perform it well, best experience posiible. If he were to decline, he was to do it in a manner, without reservations, that precluded doubt. Here was a situation that by definition called for such a delicate compromise that he recognized uncompromising commitment to one choice as being the most ideal reaction.

Subtle wisdom dictates that, in matters concerning the heart, instinct and fair judgement always prevail over critical judgement for a sublime experience. Knowledge of this kept the young man from choosing careful planning (notably found at the business end of cool and mature reflection which is incompatible with a rapidly rising tempo) over blissful spontaneity. After all, this was art and he prided himself, if fearfully, in possessing a knack for excellent execution of the brush strokes relevant to this exercise.

She had a bewitching and charming expression that he was not excessively startled to find her reasoning extremely poignant. Her opinions provided excellent complementary accompaniments to his, making for a wonderful conversation even in matters where their ideas markedly differed, even frankly contrasting.

Ultimately, he would give in, a proper man may not scam himself excessively so as to introduce complexities into a reasonably straightforward, potentially rewarding experience, and allow them to keep him from performing his duty. No way! An expensive conclusion…

Indeed, and he’d blame everything on it, a full stomach, nice conversations, good music and excellent company go well with a sensational afternoon.

 

Euginia; A blessing.

The paradox of life is that death causes us to reflect upon life. As a consequence, we, while living, must daily reflect upon our own coming demise and anticipatorily leave a legacy.

On this day, I lament the lose of one of the world’s greatest souls. A lady who was a gift to everyone she interacted with; blessed with an unmistakeable kindness which engendered a comfortable feeling of warmth which she consistently assured and maintained with a gentle and beautiful smile. She was the true embodiment of a strong willed person. She had a sturbbornly relentless faith which kept her calm and assured of God’s good graces and right timing. She had an uncanny intelligence that saw her understand the subtle wisdom that life demands of us. She understood that life required of us a painstaking calmness amidst perpetual storms, to maintain equanimity in turbulence. We all realize that this is a difficult requirement to fulfill; and she did with an abiding smile. Euginia faced life with that kind of settled confidence that I believe can only occur to a soul that has been liberated from the entanglements of daily life distractions. She believed in God.

She battled nasopharyngeal cancer with that same admirable spirit. She even survived. Afterwards, she had the misfortune of being diagnosed with breast cancer (likely contributed to by the radiation used to treat the nasopharyngeal cancer). She later succumbed to this gruesome illness. She fought it with every last molecule in her body. She grappled with a debilitating illness and toxic cancer treatment regimens pervaded by constant  excruciating pain that cannot be ignored and was able to connect with and treat people with utmost  candor. And this was yet another demonstration of her awe-inspiring strength and compassion. I’d be damned if I did not learn a thing or two from her. Thank you dear, God rest your soul.

Most of us do not realize the brevity and unpredictability of life. We exhibit an idiotic obsession with fleeting vane pleasures and get almost irredeemably distracted by them. We do not meditate upon our pathetic state which precludes any meaningful attempts to find truth and live well. I have never understood why the human race is labelled by this indelible mark of mediocrity and substandard living allied with extreme arrogance that bars an examination into our own painful state. We are too sure of ourselves that we find any suggestion on how to improve our lives superseedingly annoying. We do not get quickened to behave more responsibly because we utilize all our wits and energy in the urgency of trivialities. So we run fast in the opposite direction; away from health and towards decay.

I feel this is the message Euginia tried to send us; Make use of everything we have while we have it and gratefully accept what comes our way…but be perfectly content to live without it if it were to disappear. Engage life with a tranquility that lends a pause (and poise) which examines the madness that attends life with considerable objectivity and subsequently responding accordingly. For our time is too brief to be spent in such meaningless toil and distractions.

Fare well and rest easy Judith! Yours, albeit a temporary flicker in a vast and stormy darkness ignited several others lighting up the world and igniting an inextinguishable flame that fires the rest to action. On this day and ever after, may the stars light your path and glisten in a lovely pattern even as an orchestra breaks in the Cosmos to celebrate your return to the infinite consciousness.

On Want and Need

Don’t we just love dilemma? Simplicity which certainly entails a less care (worry) burdened life is perceived by the human mind as portending boredom, so that we consequently come up with complexities that may keep us occupied and delighted. An idle mind is it’s own enemy and while this knowledge appears to underpin the impulse to complicate matters for the purpose of mental stimulation, the reverse is equally likely, if calmly examined, to be implicated: continued mental stimulation winds up in lassitude and a gain of irresponsiveness to even the most exquisite stimuli. Even as we accuse the universe of a one-sided sense of humour that has us ireedemably chasing after our own tails for the entirety of our limited time, we must be honest enough to recognize the role we play in being fools thus. We are clowns who’ve perfected the art of silly performance and inculcated in us the ability to solely be our own audience. What I mean to say is we are annoyingly self-indulgent and are particularly miserable in our gain of biasness aggravated by an index of loss of sincerity to the self along with a fascination with the same.

That we confuse necessity and preference is the most flagrant display of this wicked self-absorbed nature. We seek, in all situations, to satisfy want. The amount of consistency in this proclivity is almost absolute. However, nature endorses constant change as the one unalterable truth and law to which all activities conform. This immutable effort to fulfill inclination, whose trajectory is always unilateral, even if not unidirectional, represents an unsettling conflict; is it to enforce the said law or to balance (antagonize) it? If a mathematical equation could be formulated to express this all-encompassing trend, it would be staggering.

Boredom appears to us as our greatest foe, and we’ve set up elaborate defenses that have still proven vastly inadequate to prevent invasion by boredom. This reflects the concealed fact that we have consistently misperceived our foe and have deluded ourselves of being successful against it when all along a diabolical plot keeps us trapped in a protracted state of glorified failure. Want is constant and unending, for when we fullfill one desire another springs up swiftly to occupy the vacancy. Just as nature abhors vaccum, so does the human mind scornfully refuse satisfaction and still presumes to be in pursuit of perfection. Yawa!

Lately, everyone is increasingly becoming aware of the brevity of our current existence and with it the easy conclusion that we ought to make the best out of this time, giving our best in all that we do and finding genuine pleasure with our state. What becomes silently frustrating is the intervening state of contemplation (or lack thereof) that introduces want as a substitute for need and recommends to us illusion as reality. Why do we anticipate boredom and predict gloom to accompany a relaxed life? Why do we foreshadow dissatisfaction with a state of calm assuredness? Because it seems to be of those reasons we are overly anxious and excited to try and fill that imagined gap. It is this obsequious subserviency to an unrewarding scheme that we fail to emerge from and which precludes any possibility of productively spending our time that I find to be very disheartening. It is sad.

Constancy is forbidden. Progress is recommended. Growth and development in all aspects of life is a need for it ensures being the best we can be. However, exceeding preoccupation with premature progress characterized my the unfortunate predisposition to impulsively act is want and this has the opposite effect; that of cancelling all previous achievements and causing the very stagnation we sought to escape. This it achieves due to the premise upon which it is based which promotes a short-circuiting of process that was meant to smoothly progress. A confusion between want and need is therefore detrimental but exceedingly common because there exists a thin line that we fail to carefully evaluate and tread.

If we are envisaging a state of fullfillment and peace, then why don’t we correspondingly endeavour to understand how we might maintain that state that allows reprieve from the clutches of giant despair? We are obsessed with completion and in our tortured trail after closure, we may temporarily check in at points that are markers of success and assurance of progress towards our ultimate goal. That is all in order. We then need to remember not to change routes once our strength and resolve is renewed but to persist and trudge on, otherwise we arrive at harbour ship-wrecked and unaccomplished.

Information is said to consist of differences that make a difference. We all need to reflect upon this because it bears upon and is in turn affected by our overall well-being. Understanding it enables us to live up to our purpose and be of greatest benefit to ourselves and to others as predestined.

All that’s been deliberated upon above is just another instance of self-destructing tendency of the human race; a mysterious subconscious phenomenon where we experience marked apprehension regarding any enduring state of well-being because we sense impending disaster that we have been primed from birth to expect. The Luo say “Ong’er be sama imiyo thuolo mondo oruakie nanga, to ni koro othiro iwe”

Good luck with the steady awareness of making the crucial distinction between want and need and choosing what’s most worth your time.

Farewell!

HAZINESS MASQUERADING AS DIVINE CLARITY?

IMG-20190521-WA0000I just had this entertaining thought; how love and stupidity are intertwined. I realize how most ladies fail to elicit the same irresistible intellectual charm once you are engaged to them in comparison to when you are hitting on them or months later (for obvious reasons) after you have broken up. I know how this must seem and how objectivity remains an elusive concept. I don’t think there is need to appeal that you (ladies especially) consider this without taking offence. (P. S ‘Irresistible’ is noteworthy. Crucial. Important if you will)

Of the said objectivity, or loss thereof, isn’t it to be expected of the observer, who gets attracted by , for e.g, intellectual charm, to continue expressing the same susceptibility even to mild forms of stimulation? But, no, the opposite is, in my experience, the rule. Having safely, as far as I can, eliminated the two most plausible explanations, there remains that stubborn question of what effect love has on creativity. Is it to be accepted at last that, emotional and intelligence quotients are inversely related? But, if this be accepted, doesn’t it lead to a more unsettling realization; Love is an irrational concept whose successful indulgence involves forsaking one’s better judgement! Say what you will (I know I will shun it when next I meet a beautiful soul with whom I connect) about this ‘better judgement’ but the truth is, it is the standard against which we weigh the worth of engaging all of our rational activities (exclude the impulsive tendencies). So if abandonment of this standard is a prerequisite for loving someone, isn’t this a weak foundation on which to build something we all always hope lasts forever? The paradox is, the more in love we are, the greater our assessment has been neglected, even challenged and the more we claim the affair to be too profound to be temporary. Love doesn’t judge. Love is blind. Love covers all. It has been said of love to be a deceptive emotion. So we will get in to relationships having masked every trait of our beloved’s we think we could otherwise not stand. We will avoid exploring the so called ‘dark-side’ of our partners to avert any realization that would change the course of this thing that is evolving so well and which we are desperate to have progress. We abandon this reliable standard and, because of the insidious nature or because we’ve become stupid (I dont know), we quickly forget this deliberate dismissal of subtle and glaring clues alike. Who doesn’t like being blind at will, right? I mean, we all enjoy the relief of being strip of all responsibility but being able to enjoy the benefits that accrue from such efforts regardless. In the end (more commonly sooner than expected), for one reason or the other, the veil we forcefully placed upon our partner is drawn back and we are introduced to an unexpected reality we find shocking and difficult to harmonize. We feel cheated. This reaction is, though perfectly natural, rather hypocritical.

The dilemma am facing is whose fault is it? Everyone always seems to want to amass to themselves all the available blame. We have shown, at least in part, why that blame exists in the first place. At the time the lady presents an irresistible picture, is it a deliberate observer bias, a hyperbolic display of brilliant colour by the observed, or a function of these two in varying combinations? The answer to the problem that opens this paragraph will be answered by finding the source of the treachery. So, why does love effortlessly enjoy (it is we who do actually, but I like to shift blame) such an overwhelming amount of autonomy and unchecked effect which invariably produces pronounced and ironically unexpected harm?

Love presents itself as a biphasic entity; first to acquire, and then, more difficult, to maintain that trust. That is the simplistic view entailing a complicated intervening multistep process with compromise being the highlight. It demands of one a sense of adaptability that does not fail, an implied requisite whose immodest fullfillment is attended by modification of the self and a whole bucketload of new problems. Provokes you to think, right? Well, stop holding your chin, as we will find, this sane thought seeking meaning in it all is irrelevant and unwelcome in the matter; the province of delightful insanity and irrationality. Woohoo.

This path, rocky it might be, is travelled by every single person at one point or the other, with various levels of success. We endure the journey because it is what gives meaning (I don’t mean the rocking back and forth😅😅) to relationships and because it saves us a greater and more intolerable state; that of loneliness characterized by a strange unforgiving and chronic  vacancy with avolitional tendencies and depressive aspects. Life may be replete with pain and thought provoking moments but overall invariably beautiful!

Relationships seek from us a selflessness that is proven by giving up our defenses. The first triumph a new-destined-to-be- successful affectionate alliance achieves is over the proverbial walls and it opens up (figuratively and literally if you will?😉😋) the subsequent stages to glorious victory. This is what others have called bringing out the best in us. This is easily understood if one already read a remotely preceeding article about self-servicing bias. It intervenes and gets in the way of all our interactions with detrimental but changeable outcomes which we’ve falsely perceived to be normal and gotten comfortable with.

Do not come after me for failing to provide solutions to these dilemmas, I simply do not know. I am merely seeking insight and alternative perspective on the matter. I am no author of my own observations, I do not seek to study individuals so to speak. I, like most others I believe, acquire these insights only in retrospect, and even then, in a spontaneous fashion. Forgive me, or not, for being like I am.

If I sounded like a broken record, it is because I am stricken with the curse of attempting to use my deficient wits in a matter where not only honesty and good intentions are needed but insanity is celebrated.

P. S: I am a great proponent of romance and of all the calming (read: palpitation inducing) moments excellently suited for my mental and physical well being. It is why these mussings are not of a broken bitter heart, only one that can rise above common enjoyments (and accompanying expectation to not speak ill off) to explore other available realities. That is to say, I’m currently a beneficiary of the same misadventures…ahem.

These well rounded and shapen bodies also enjoy and commonly complain about my (i don’t know if you help me in this) bad taste in music. So here’s a link that will keep her hands from pulling away the AUX cable.

 

And for anyone who reads and enjoys these blogs, please allow the genuine and all-encompassing love of God a chance in your life. I wouldn’t be doing you any good if I did not encourage you to remember this. Amen.

Amor Fati

“Daktari, how is that relevant?” A rhetorical question followed hot upon the heels by smiles, giggles even outbursts. Then at other times, “Why are you not telling me about the (incredibly small and highly likely to be insignificant) nevus? So is your examination of this patient comprehensive?

If you’ve ever been a student who has to interact with their seniors in settings where disease is presumed to be treated but where sometimes more egregious ailments may be acquired, from multidrug resistant strains across the spectrum through sickening chemotherapy regimens to extensive and debilitating post surgery morbidity, you become accustomed to these dynamics. The acquisition of the knack to get it right is ,however, often delayed. This process is life long and more often than not, unconscious. One becomes what one dreads. In the meantime, before the promise of a busy schedule, absent time for family, unending pressure from ailing patients and a decent enough salary (it is hoped), one develops an attachment to the process, you know that warm feeling of what’s familiar! If during your presentation, the consultant fails to present endless remarks, one feels disowned and abandoned.

Funny thing, getting accustomed to, even anticipating such ‘roasting’ doesn’t confer immunity to the devastating blows it delivers. You see, the human body is extensive such that practicality, weighted most upon by constraints of the ever ticking clock which lends urgency to an affair where measured actions would seem more appropriate, dictates that the assessment thereof be tailored to suit the clients’ unique presentations. This selection process is an area where fact, opinion, intuition, objectivity, subjective bias and often chance come to bear in varying degrees engendering a (if you think about it) terribly complex process inteded to birth a rational and well organized outcome! But you better not think about it.

Is this medicine a difficult thing or what? But isn’t life as a whole?

It demands of one a difficult-to-master calmness. The Bible calls this blessed assurance. Stoics call it Amor Fati (love of fate). That we drain our energies fussing over things we do not have control over and concerning which our fussing has no effect is such a regrettable realization. We should rather embrace what’s ahead of us and engage it actively because it is the hand we have been dealt. Doctors acquire what most perceive as arrogance or otherwise cold-heartedness over time because, despite their struggles, they find it futile and a waste of valuable emotions agonizing over what may not be changed, in stead directing their efforts to remedying strategies that bear fruit. It is difficult for most people to stop even for a second and shift from the disposition of being all righteous, having all the facts and a sobre mind and therefore well suited to judge, to place themselves in the other person’s shoes and try to appreciate why they act in any given manner. We are all afflicted by this selfish and short sighted quality. We share the same struggles in life. The fate of human beings is a common one. We should seek to be empathetic and collectively promote an environment of love and harmony. Who sees that happening anytime in the future? I also don’t.

Even so, that which I am labouring to express is that however seemingly difficult things are, it is never a choice to give up. It is a call to remind us the importance of sticking with the situation at hand, of sticking around and seeing things through. This must be how people succeed! A tough-headedness that does not yield.

One sure thing is that growth and adjustment occurs. We live a life that is preordained and lack of trust in the Creator who gives us the strength is what leads to giving up.  We are to persist, fail again and again but continue in the same manner. Faith and persistence! If we can derive peace from the understanding that doing our best is all what is demanded of us then we need not anticipate outcomes and that dispenses with worry. Waswahili nao wanasema ‘tenda wema, nenda zako’. That is to say, relieve yourself from the angstful state of expectation.

I’ve always advocated for this so called blessed assurance. Finding it is a guarantee to living a tolerably peaceful life, not devoid of struggles but replete with glorious battles and victories. It has been said that which is in the way becomes the way. Impediment to action promotes and advances action. We do it not only in spite of the obstacle, but because of it. This is a battle we win! Alternatively it has been said; “one is responsible for their own happiness…”

Are you distraught because of failure, back sliding, retrogression, stagnation, fear? Be that true as it may, smile and be joyous, prove your unhappy countenance with the courage that dares to believe otherwise, that embraces reality and finds it well suited to propel you towards what you want.

This suggestion requires incredible courage and fortitude, for to abandon what seems to be ones good sense of judgement and genuine feelings and embrace what seems to be inflicting the harm is a crazy affair. But the world itself is crazy. It’s crazy out here! Respond to it in those same terms, by behaving in a way that is unexpected and unconventional. Otherwise, all the said madness would catch up with us.

I mentioned in the previous article the well known sense of humour that the world has. It is one of flip flop between epic and basic, rational and irrational, good and evil. They were not idle, those men that saw in this cosmic drama a game played by the gods and protested ‘it is not funny’ ‘we ought to be taken seriously’. Ought we though? That’s the trap, that way of thinking, seeking to find a way out, to maneuvre ourselves somehow of it all. Newsflash, way out is death and that is something everyone who continues to fight impossibilities learns when they take their own life. History is full of such examples. We are to give up control. We are to become flexible, allowing the random motions of fate to push us this way and that way but enjoying the ride, thriving. Under the influence of such forces, flexibility ensures survival while rigidity promises being broken. This is what it means to love fate…Amor Fati.

Writing is difficult too, but we don’t give up, do we?

But in all these ever changing fortunes of time, we find in music, a reliable friend…IMG-20190320-WA0000.jpg

Hustle and bustle of life.

“In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread,till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”

But aren’t we just fascinated by the impossible, finding exhilaration (at any rate it overcomes the accompanying frustration) in trying to get a hold of the hard-to-get things. And you will find men violently rising in protest at any suggestion that points them to this proclivity. We like to dress it up in nice terms like ambition, vision and committment. As far as these things ensure our mental and overall well-being (which seems to be heavily predicated upon a sense of superiority), they should be indulged. Let’s face it, why is it that the more scarce an object, the greater the effort towards achieving and subsequently value placed upon it? Superiority and insecurity. Keep reading then, for here too, suggested by the length and wordy composition, there’s a valuable reward…

This reveals (more of reiterates) a truth about us that we all find uncomfortable; we are a mass embedding a restless horde of atoms that for all ages have preferred turmoil to rest, and this chaotic constitution predisposes us, nay compels us, to participate in the same unending activity which ensures we don’t find rest. This state defines existence. To cease is to not exist, surmises the brain, in all it’s wisdom, and proceeds to forever create a powerful illusion; I’ll surely be happy if only…It is not that our needs are difficult to satisfy, no, it is us that we may never be satisfied in and of ourselves.

And from the above mentioned fallacy of an organ that enjoys a reputation for being remarkable and breathtaking, the organ never recovers, so that at each turn it finds itself another arduous task to accomplish and possibly frustrated by this aweful madenning state, allows the illusion to reign free, even as it resigns to fate. This is the instinct of self-preservation in action and it demands a special knack to observe and appreciate (read: get depressed).

Truth be told, if man were to be granted all that there is, he’d still be thoroughly bored even to extents of ending his life. Life ceases to have meaning in the absence of struggle. Goosebumps yet? No? Okay, your self-preserving instinct may yet be meaningful. You see, vanity promotes it’s own indulgence and the greater the illusion, the more powerful it becomes. The mind finds the web nature has spun to be infinitely intricate and immediately abandons all thought of escaping, choosing in stead, to embrace it as the truth and indeed, being the reality, it is. Then this mind, or some other tragic force underlying humour, finds the whole affair to be deeply amusing, the so called funny sense of humour that the world is said to posses and exercise upon us.

Does it then make sense when sages (we’ll call them that because even that is a vane and meaningless term, funny right? That’s humour for you) recommend perpetual bliss; the so called YOLO? Yes!

For the troubles of man are many and his life depressingly short, and even further that this life should be spent in mindless agony, he ought to live a purpose directed life. He deserves to enjoy his time under the sun. He will face evil and good alike and his response to either is all that may be even slightly amenable to his manipulation.

I realize that even this is a vane exercise. However, the opportunity to lend a hand to a brother should inspire a sense of meaning to life, right? Now that it’s been blurrily (sorry) shown how life is a bitter pill, perhaps we gain from allowing the soul a bit of pleasure. Music is the key to such happiness. In that vane, I introduce you to the talented DJ Brifams and his brilliant creations that will leave your world rocking and less depressing or just entirely fantastic. Find his latest magic on the link provided below…(the promised reward, kudos to those who scrolled quick and saved themselves the painstaking effort of reading)

The perception of boredom is a curse of the sentient mind and this mind has evolved means of allaying that boredom and keeping it at bay, even as it devises ways of sailing away in seas of joy. This is why creativity leading to the creation of beautiful art as with the DJ’s work is a hallmark of a mind that performs an excellent job and such spontaneously evokes an applause….

I should leave you all to figure your lives out. No one likes too much life lessons. I didn’t give any, lest I leave your minds devoid of any meaningless-but-ultimately-meaningful-boredom-dispensing activity.

Only remember that in all you do, whatever your occupation or hustle, man’s duty is to worship God. This is readily accomplished as soon as one does self introspection and finds the purpose for which his life is suited, using it in the service of God. Thank Him, for He is Mighty and gracious.

MITOCHONDRIAL DNA= (FEMININE) INTELLIGENCE?

Are we growing more in brain capacity? Is this age of more intellectually advanced individuals? Have the challenges we have survived in the past as a race ensured selective survival of only those with creative minds that could devise means of navigating the difficulties?

There is a friend of mine, my first impression of her was that she was an exceptionally smart person. She possessed cognitive abilities I imagined were reserved for aliens or some variant thereof. A superhuman perhaps. In all fairness, sapiosexuality may have introduced a bias in my judgement. Occasionally, of this said woman’s mental prowess, I find her judgement to fall short of that first impression and sometimes even in frank contradiction of it but, at such moments, remembering how awe-inspiring and refreshing her abilities were (even while keeping in mind how memories may be coloured in extravagant colour as a compensation for the loss of actual experience, and thus misleading) and that I know myself to be a fairly good judge of character, I conclude it is a plane of maturity/understanding I haven’t come to. Of course, it could also be said of my observations to arise out of the depths of my relationship with that beautiful lady and later break-up. Complications of the dynamics of relationship!

The reason I choose to write this, is I have become somewhat increasingly aware of the fact that most people seem to posses the same ability, that of engaging matters with what appears to be supreme reasoning capacity that surpasses my expectations. One might even be forgiven to think that we have all become more generous with our compliments, for every turn one takes someone’s apparent intellect is being marveled at. This is especially so in the so called social media streets. A few individuals, for an inability to master language or some sense of insecurity they harbor, have made exaggerated claims about proper usage of language passing for intellectual endowment. I want to disagree and mention here that while some individuals may be mistaken thus, proper communication is an art whose fruits are societal understanding and harmony, ensuing from the appreciation of one another’s perspective. Successful communication is a true and difficult art which requires a great deal of maturity, wisdom and the disputed intelligence. To the extent that communication break-down is ubiquitous in most social media platforms where every individual is focused in furthering their own agenda, typing endlessly and rarely taking time to truly appreciate (read: sympathize with) the other parties’ point of view, I agree that language may not be truly representative of intelligence. It is a chaotic milieu where voice of reason almost never prevails. That said, language is an art, whose proper usage is a delicate and sometimes painstaking endeavor, whose presentation can be beautifully breathtaking and in rare circumstances, even knee-weakening. I make no claims to possessing such intelligence. You can immediately tell from the struggle with words that I exhibit in a bid to express my zigzag thoughts. So you may not rush to conclude that I am defending the use of language to prove my own endowments. But I do, don’t I? Anyway, the point I wanted to invite you to help me with, is the agonizing struggle trying to understand if indeed the Kenyan population has become more or has always been so smart. A friend of mine, marveling at excellent penmanship from a certain writer, made a comment that aggravated the dilemma I was having and with it, the need to reach a conclusion; “ Kenya has never known a lack of intelligent people” first of all, is there some truth to my observation or am I just more exposed (by this I mean possessing a smart phone with access to the internet)? In the past, I wished for ladies who had such communication capability, my juvenile mind’s excuse for saying I liked flirty ladies which was underlied by my impatience and dislike for prolonged courtship. Anyway, over the years, my discrimination for these ladies led me in to a chain of events that can be summed up as reckless behavior of a horny young man culminating in poor choices and broken hearts. This was a temporary detour to give a lesson in being careful what one wishes for and not being too sure we know what we need (realize we often confuse ‘want’ and ‘need’)

So then, have we become a more sophisticated population, more civilized and/or urbanized? Are these things concomitant to or causative of intelligence/education? Are Kenyans in a sense more enlightened or am I minimizing what is actually an effect of exposure on a previously cocooned and unformed mind? Yet another friend of mine, I count myself a lucky man to count friends on both hands, (don’t be fooled we all have occasional fights and weeks of silence as frequently as any other relationship), in an appreciation of this friendship, wrote a quote I believe was uttered by Aristotle; “it is the educated mind that may entertain a thought without accepting it”. I’m afraid I have paraphrased it but the meaning I understand by it is that the educated mind, as opposed to barbaric uncultured temperament, acquires some degree of maturity that enables them to, calmly and without superseding prejudice, listen to and evaluate the merit within another person’s argument before dismissing it. This friend too is a lady. May be the second X chromosome has some secret to it. Or maybe I boast of maturity when I’m still juvenile and horny (sildenafil vendors will have to wait a while longer).

Especially these self-proclaimed feminists. They do write! They have mastered argument and how to express their grievances (often irrational or inflated). Are they more intelligent because of it? I have often wondered. And just so I don’t incur their wrath, I’ll remind them I have given credit where it is due. I have also mentioned about the wisdom in tolerance and how it is a hallmark of maturity. But I will not appease your demons by reducing the size of this paragraph detailing my disapproval of your choices (petty, virtually all, feminists). I will achieve that by keeping it short for fear of falling in to the same trap of pettiness and by appealing to your child-like charming tendencies- Candy, anyone? A duvet perhaps? (they all boast of loving food, being lazy and loving sleep).

By the way, the title is a pun. Explore.

P.S I absolutely anticipate violent reactions to this, or silent outbursts of those of you who believe this to have been some sort of vilification or attack on their personality traits? Either is hurtful, even silent treatment is harsh criticism on its own right. So, the good friends mentioned, give feedback on the questions asked. I’ll be sure to send each of you the article.